As Some Heavy Stuff Comes Back to Haunt Me 2

So... I've been thinking a lot about the past. So here is my story. This is my big black dragon that has haunted me for the past 3 years... I woke up this morning... and he was gone. :) God is good all the time!!!!! 


I'll write a little more afterwards. 
~

On March 15th 2007, at 9.06 am, I had just finished a fight with my brother Isaac, because my youngest brother Timmy's seat belt was unbuckled, and I had just had to climb back into the back and buckle the seat back in since he had unbuckled it and couldn't get it back in. My mom was upset at me, I was mad because I wasn't riding with my friend in the other car for our homeschool field trip. My two youngest sisters Megan and Maddie were asleep in the back, buckled correctly for the first time in ages. It was rainy and we were going 55 miles an hour down the highway. 
I don't remember the exact time of the car accident. I do know that I was put into an ambulance at 9.32 am. 
But I'm ahead of myself. My mother signaled to go into the other lane, and someone who didn't want to wait and figured she didn't see him, honked rather loudly. My mother reacted out of surprise, and jerked the steering wheel to the right. We skid... and for a split second we were fine... then we flipped. Four times we went roof over wheels. Finally I shut my eyes. I didn't make a sound the entire time. We landed ceiling down... I couldn't feel, breath or hear... nothing was working right... I thought that I had died... I felt like I was hanging there for hours... it was less then 4 seconds. Suddenly Timmy made a noise... that was all it took. My eyes snapped open and I heard this roaring in my ears. My mom was trying to call someone, trying to find her phone...I felt completely calm. I told her to get out of the car, flipped myself over and threw myself across the roof of the car. As I unbuckled my little brother I looked back into the back seat. The two seat belts were still eerily buckled. A hole forming in my stomach, I refused to think the worst. 
I somehow climbed out of our destroyed car, still calm, and I remember a young woman coming to my side and taking my brother... I looked for my two sisters and realized that my 2 brothers, my brothers friend and my mom were there... my sisters were gone. Megan who had just celebrated her 8th birthday 3 days before and Maddie, who was the spitting image of myself, even down to the feisty personality... I looked for them... I can remember a man grabbing my arm and tearing it away from him, refusing to look at the highway, terrified at what I might see.. I heard sirens... I was calling their names, fear clutching at my heart... then I heard Maddie... they had been ejected from the car...  and then I saw them. I cannot stand the sight of blood to this day. Megan had come an 8th of an inch away from death. Her arm had been sliced open an 8th of an inch away from her main artery. And 8th of an inch the other way and she would have lost the use of her arm.  
I stepped back.. and yelled to the man who had grabbed me to call an ambulance... they removed my sister, wrapped her in a quilt... and then I remember them screaming head trauma, head trauma... I kept slapping their hands away... telling them they had to take my sisters to the hospital or I would kill them. They began to leave me alone... I ran my finger through my hair and pain seared through every part of my body... I lifted my hand away.. covered in blood. I looked at the man and asked how bad it was... I never heard the answer. My adrenaline crashed. I sank to my knees, realizing I only had one shoe on... and cried. I remember being asked to repeat the story nine times, I remember being accused of not having a seat belt on, and I remember my nurse shouting at the police officer calling him an idiot and telling him that I wouldn't have a face if I had not been buckled. 
I was released first from the hospital at 12.27. Don't ask me how I remember the times, Because I don't know. I remember the hospital counselor telling me not to worry that I would remember this accident for the rest of my life through flashbacks, nightmares, and other fun things like that. Then the final blow came. I had somewho convinced myself that if Megan was the worst it couldn't have been that bad. I asked my dad to let me see the car. That was when I finally realized what I had escaped. I remember taking one look and losing it. the Front seat was a third of the size it should have been... 
I should not be writing now. I should be the one in the hospital. I shouldn't have a face... But I do. 
The next two days were the darkest of my life. I begged my parents to take me home (we were staying at a friends house to make it easier on the hospital, since it had happened in a different state) 
My mom and I finally got home around 10 o'clock pm on March 17th. I went into my room, locked my door turned on the lights, and cried for about 2 hours. I asked God why over and over and over... I looked at one of my lists that I will leave out for lengths sake, and I realized what my list was on top of... a blue sliver tinted NIV. 
The passage I looked at was 1 Corinthians 15:50-58. Verse 55 says "Oh Death, where is your victory? Where is your sting?”
I cried... and God held me through it all... 

~
That most certainly is not the end of my story. It's not even the beginning. Now, writing this is just reliving memories right? 
Actually no. It used to be. I used to recall every detail. I could even tell you what we were all wearing, the exact faces of every person involved. Now it takes me a lot to remember anything other then these details I have shared. I can't even remember the colour of our car without thinking about it. The past two years... even this past weekend I have dreading what usually comes this time of the year. I wouldn't go into detail about it, I never felt like elaborating. 


Here is a true fact. 


I have thought nothing about at all today other then at midnight. I even rode in a car today, and didn't react, even when a something rather dangerous happened. this is an excerpt I copied and pasted from my testimony with some confusing details left out. There is no emotion at all running through my head or heart that even remotely feels like anything other then joy and gratefulness. 


The Doctors were once again wrong. Not completely. But the scars have healed. more quickly then they ever expected. The wounds from this have given me my life. I have my school, I have stellar friends who fear God and constantly direct my attention back to him. And most importantly I have finally put my relationship with God in perspective. OUR GOD IS GREAT. You may not believe it from what you've been through, but without Him I would not be where I am today. 


Oh, how He loves us. I do not deserve anything He gives. And He gives so much! 


My favorite part of scripture is that passage. I have posted it before. The Section is appropriatly entitled Mystery and Victory. 51 is my favorite. 

1 Corinthians 15:50-58

50I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. ⁵¹Behold! I tell you a mystery.We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, ⁵²in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. ⁵³For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. ⁵⁴When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
 "Death is swallowed up in victory." ⁵⁵ "O death, where is your victory?
   O death, where is your sting?"
 ⁵⁶The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
 ⁵⁸ Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.


On Wednesday, it will be 3 years ago that I became His. I look forward to it. and I thank God that He has given me every single one of those 1096 days (I googled the answer). He has given them to me. And there are times (I am ashamed to say) that I waste them. 


But Our God gives us more then we shall ever deserve. And for that I praise Him. For that reason I can write these words of devastation, and smile. Because I am NOTHING without my God. 


That is my story. I hope it gives you hope. 


Katydid out.