Speechless

Yesterday was one of those days that was completely mind-blowingly GOD-filled.

Oh my life... Ridiculous.

I just moved out of the house I had been living in for two years, this June, so a little over 2 months ago. This house has done so much for my Spiritual walk, it has been crazy. The people in it have been a true blessing to my life.

I really am just stumbling all over myself right now staring at this blog trying to figure out what to say that can tell you all how completely speechless I am about this whole mess. How I can even venture to explain what I have been learning... how He loves me so much.... and I feel so foolish, because I have always felt that words would not be able to fail me here on earth when describing myself. Now I have no idea how to deal with His grace is just blowing my mind out of proportions. Not even thought to be physically possible.

And I still feel like a fool.

there are so many songs that try to capture what I am attempting to proclaim and declare to you... and I am failing.

I did finally realize what I want to say.

I have learned that joy truly does overflow. It is contagious, it's ridiculous. It WILL never make ANY sense. Because God is bigger then we can ever imagine. 


 Life is good.

Katydid out. 

Genuine...

This is a little song I WAS writing and gave up on. Putting words to music and music to words are kinda difficult for me but that's another story. I gave up and just made it a prayer



Father help me to be Genuine in everything I do,
Help me to keep my eyes constantly fixed on you
Let my joy be full,
Let my love be real,
Just please oh, Lord, keep nearer still.

that's all I have to say for now.

Katydid out 

Dear Christianity...

Today is one of those days that I wish Christianity were not called Christianity. I am completely ashamed of the religion that has really take over the name of Christ. Just a bunch of rules and show, and it's completely frustrating. I hate how we have taken it and made it a completely laughable faith. We have neglected God, neglected the purpose, the reason, the leader, of our lives, and made him into a show. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a circus, a bunch of wanna be freaks.

We argue theology with each other, we argue points, we argue over worthless bits of doctrine that don't matter in salvation, and we set up all these rules and regulations and try to be our little perfect Christian bubble. We act perfect. We make ourselves seem like good Christians.

And then we leave our little church building and drag His name through the dirt, acting like no one else is watching. We fill our facebooks, our emails, our time with things that are not worth devoting our time too.

We fake pray because we feel like we have to. We make the Bible a textbook, a chore and lose the wonder of it...

Then there are the "rebels" The ones who make themselves different so that "non-Christians" can realize that Christianity isn't a bunch of rules... so we can act however we want, we can be a horrible example, allow people to continue living in our sin... and then judge the church folks. Because the "rebels" are more accepting then the "church people" except to "church people".

And then we call the rest of the world hard-hearted?

I'm not leaving myself out of this. I am one of those horrible hypocrites. I don't get everything right all the time, I've been this person. Recently, I was presented with my own faults. I have been attempting to find a happy medium between the two so I can show the world that TRUE Christianity is a minority. Just because someone says they stand for Jesus doesn't mean that they truly do.

Christians of the world... or even just the people reading this... whoever you are. WHY ARE WE ACTING SO FOOLISH?

To the rest of the world. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry we've made this wonderful truth seem like a complete joke. I'm sorry that we have shown you prime examples of how to not follow Christ. I'm sorry we haven't shown you that our God that we make a joke out of and constantly fail, is more amazing then you could ever imagine. I'm sorry we've stuffed it down your throats thinking of you as nothing but numbers in our Christianity points files, and not following up and teaching you how to love, and how Christ meant this to work. I'm sorry that we are so stupid and make you feel like the idiots, and that we just tell you the rules, and the doctrine and not the hope, and the purpose. I'm sorry that we have pushed you away, lead you astray and not shown you His love.

I wish I could fix it all. It breaks my heart that I can't. I don't even know how... but He still has a purpose. And that keeps me going.

Katydid out.