Prayer...

This is a journal entry I just finished. I think it pretty much says it all.

Dear Jesus,

Thank you, just... thank you. I am working onto my last days before I go home. This semester has been... more then I imagined, more then I could ever have seen. It's been proof of your intimate love for me, even though I have nothing to offer. It's been one of the best few months of my life. It hasn't been easy, but you have carried me through it all. I have enjoyed falling more in love with you.

I long for home, and as much as I love college, I long for the days to be done with the rigmarole of school. So that I can serve you. Thank you for giving me back my passions. My excitement. My hope. My heart has been so lost since last August. You know why.

I thank you for giving me eagles wings. For saving me, from others... and myself. For your promise that something will be done in my days that is so unbelievable that I can't even see it right now.

In your wonderful name,

Amen.

The Scriptures are Isaiah 40:27-31 and Habakkuk 1:5 for the full reference.

Katydid out.

Changes, Changes.

Changes... they are in the air. they are in the mix... hm. as the leaves change, so do I once more.

I've look back at what has happened to me around this time every year... and every Fall has been different.

This is my favorite change so far. :)

Here I am, on the West Coast, meeting some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and enjoying life more then I thought possible.

I have healed. Finally. after over a year of becoming something I'm not... I'm safe in the Hands of my Creator.

Actually... I always was... I'm just realizing it now.

And for the first time in a while, I am praying more for God's will then my own wants and meaning it.

Oh, the glorious difference that makes!!!!!! I encourage you to get to that point in your relationship with Christ. To that point of trust.

And if you don't... well, you know, all you'll miss out on is: comfort, peace, joy, strength, and other spiritual gifts. and yes. Fully trusting God does come with all of that.

Trust is not a blind leap. It's saying that you believe in the promises He made, and realize that your life in His hands is greater then your life in your hands.

In 3 days I will have been here 3 months. Wow. God is so good! I can't even go into the list of things I have been given the opportunity to do, discover, and learn.

I have also been given the courage to do things I normally wouldn't do. Like being even more sarcastic on the internet. ;P actually... never mind I've been doing that for ages.

For your questions in that area, you will have to wait until you see me, and be careful, because you may not recognize me.

That is all I shall say for now. :)

Katydid Out.

TWLOHA...

So... Friday is To Write Love on Her Arms Day... Yeah...

Part of me is really just... hm. Thinking about a comment I read earlier. I really think people that are negative about things should just stop trying to make others fall... I wonder why we do that to each other.

So anyway this guy was writing on the site something line of rubbish about how writing "Love" on your arms does squat (not his exact words).

I got rather angry about it. It's funny. normally I'm not a big fan of this group, not that I have anything against them or the cause, it's just the people who are die hard this one day of the year, and then don't do anything about it the rest of the year.

I've been challenged in this view by a guy I respect, and I fully agree with how he put this question to me. I can't remember how he worded it exactly so I shall not post it.

Let me make this clear. If you honestly do care, rep this more then just November 13th. okay?

I usually do it once every few months, outside of the group. Only I will write verses, about love, instead of just love.

So this is the comment I almost posted if I had the courage. But I don't, and I let other people face that fight. I'll be a total chicken and write it on my blog :p

To ...

I felt the same way... until my life was changed. 3 years ago, I hit rock bottom, my whole world crashed. It came down to a decision... I still don't regret my choice. You don't have to actually cut yourself then recover... sometimes we are blessed enough to realize before hand what it boils down too. THIS MAY NOT DO A THING... but it may change everything. Yeah, when you are depressed, people writing "love" on their arms may be the last thing you want to read. BUT.... if the right person does it, it can change everything. If SOMEONE had done this when I was going through this... Maybe I wouldn't have gotten to the point I got to. I do know this. There are people out there who do not know that this cause exists. They need hope. They need help. And if they see Love on your wrists (where I place it every year) They usually ask why. (esp if it is in neon colours ((just a suggestion))). Besides, is it really inconvenient to us to write 4 letters on our arms? This is not a risk...you will not be injured if you do it or not. On the other hand, are you willing to risk your rep to try and beat the numbers?

I ask you the same thing...

Are you willing to risk it? You never know who is falling down behind the mask.

It could even be someone like me... who hid it from everyone.

Well? What are you going to do?

Katydid out.

It's been over a month... whoops... and the Subject of things...

Welcome to... the exciting life of a freshman of MBI. WHOOO!

not really. Well, in a way...

Okay, I have to admit, there have been a lot of life lessons that have been learned since my last... couple posts... and I just feel like God is giving me an awareness for things. Then I realized that I only have 5 weeks of my fall semester left. OHMYLIFE WHERE DID IT GO????

I promise you, time goes faster as you get older. It only seems like... a few days ago that I first got out here. and it's been... 2 months, and 16 days... or 11 weeks... 77 days...hold on...I'm going to attempt to do some math... uh... 24x77... around... 1848 hours or...110880 ish minutes... and about 6652800 seconds. at least. give or take a few hours...

I did the last 3 with the help of my phone. I am not ashamed.

I love school... which is surprising. I keep seeing all over my facebook all of these people who went home for fall break, and I am just like... I don't really want to leave... uhm... yeah...

I have to admit I am rather sad about my last first semester being over halfway over. Even though it's been quite a ride... and rather crazy at some times, I wouldn't trade it in for anything.

So, on to my random topic of today, I generally have no respect for any of my professors who give me midterms. By the way this is technically my second year of college. Because I was home-schooled we decided we'd so college and Sr. Year... AT THE SAME TIME... oooohhh...okay, enough with my fake sarcasm. So I get into my Church and it's Doctrines midterm two weeks ago at 7.45 am. Joy. Enthusiasm... ect. and I have been pretty much studying really hard for the thing, and then I find out... it's not short answer like I thought... it's multiple guess-er- choice. that made my morning.

I got an 85!! Whoo! really exciting, and I have been getting A's on my papers I've handed in... so all is well. :)

So in other news...

I have to admit that I really am enjoying selecting teachers that challenges me. I recently signed up for classes and had to choose between a professor where I knew I would get an A no matter what I put, and then an unknown professor who will probably make me work for it.

I decided to give myself the new professor, because I don't really appreciate it when I get an A I don't really deserve. I don't really understand the whole thing behind the easy way out. I have never gotten it. and I like working hard.

I don't know I'd just rather risk failing then getting something I don't deserve. God has already given me more then I could ever want or need... I work for the A. :)

well that's all of my random posting for today. Have a good week everyone, I have no idea when I'll be back!

~Katydid Out.

Something old, something new...

Well I wrote this a while ago, and so for here it's old, but for me putting up something I've written myself is new for this so... I have it, we can deal with it, comments are appreciated... yeah. It's a promise and a reminder.

Wherever you go, always know I am here, 

When ever you fall always know I will pick you up

No matter how far you stray I will come after you and find you,

No matter what you've done I will always love you

If you are ever in danger I will rescue you

If you are ever sick I will take care of you

When your heart is broken I will comfort you

When you cannot go on, I will carry you through

When you feel invisible remember I can always see you

When you feel like no one cares remember you are never alone.

You mean everything to me and I love you

I gave my life for you because I love you

And only I alone can keep these promises

The world will fade, the time will pass.

But I am always...

No matter what.

Katydid out. 

Jesus Bring the Rain...

I've been here 1 month today! WOW! that's hard to believe! But today something really awesome happened...

it rained. Yep, you heard me.

I love it. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE rain. I woke up this morning in a rather... hmm... unpleasant state, and looked out the window and was very excited. Rain. It made my day so much better.

Yes I am an walking oxymoron, most people don't look at rain and think "oh now I know today will be great!" most people look at rain and think something along the lines of "whine, grumble, sigh, grumble, alsdjgalkdjfh (translate that yourself, I don't even know what it means), now I have to walk to school in the rain, ugh I'm so depressed ect, ect, ect." 

What about you? I know I am kind of a rare case when it come to rain. As I said before I love it. 

There is just something about standing or walking in the rain with your eyes closed (I tripped over a speed-bump this morning so I don't actually recommend walking with your eyes closed). I feel...peaceful. Or serene. I don't know how to describe it. It's beautiful. 

I wish the rain had lasted longer so I could have sat on my porch and watched and listened. Ah, it's glorious. It has such a wonderful sound and smell and feel. I love the feeling of rain on my skin. 

I want more then anything right now to feel God's presence. I felt a little grasp of it this morning. in a thing as simple as rain. Imagine that. I've been running about feeling restless, and all I needed was the rain. 

Hmm. How does God do that? I have said this so much in the past month and I will say it again. I am SO grateful that God is in control. Because I would have ruined my life more then I already have. It's such a wonderful feeling knowing that my focus is on the right things. Trials may come, but I am still His. And rain or shine, that is what matters.

Katydid out. 

Beautiful Lumps of Coal 2

So I hope you've read my last post, if not, oh well.

I have been realizing that I have been holding on to a rather large lump of coal for a while now. I've broken off bits and pieces to give to God, but I still have this massive lump, this awful hurt inside. I was challenged to get rid of it Friday night. 

I didn't realize how much I wanted to until Friday night around 11.30 pm. I sat down by a river at this camp we were at a retreat for, and leaned against this post, and cried. I needed to let go. But for some reason I haven't done it. For about a year now I have carried this stupid black ugly thing around getting myself filthy, and even hurting people around me. 

My heart still aches. I could have been rid of it a long time ago. 

So I am sitting there, crying out to God about this friendship I have that is utterly failed. For some reason I felt like I needed to continue to talk to this person. My head screamed at me that it was stupid, and I shouldn't even look back. Cutting myself off completely was -is- the smartest choice. My heart said no, let them know that you are moving on and forgiving. 

God brought this song to my mind, it's by Rob Thomas and it's from the movie Meet the Robinsons. 

Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder, don't you know the hardest part is over...

I looked up at that point, and realized I was sitting, not against a post, but a rough wooden cross. 

Delicious Irony.  God loves it, I swear. I realized that I am just causing myself pain.

Then this song popped into my head. The line I started with last time. 

When coal is put under a lot of pressure, heat and is given time... it creates a diamond. I realized I had been chipping off little bits, giving them to God and being happy with tiny diamonds. God wanted to give me more, but I was happy with my dirty lump of coal. That's not what he wants for us. He was to hand us this massive Diamond and say "this is for you because I love you. This is what happens when you give me your burden. Beauty from pain."

As I realized that, I could almost feel him gently removing my fingers from my dirty lump of coal. I let it go. I don't want an ugly lump of coal anymore. I want something beautiful. I want God to take it and fix it up. Fix me up. Refine me...

Now comes the pressure and heat...and the waiting.  I'm not sure how long it will take, but I know God is just going to hand me back something more beautiful then what I gave him. It's a rags to riches kind of thing. I just have to be patient. I have to let God be in control. 

Here's the hard part. 

For some STUPID reason, I want the coal back. I know I am going to get something better. But God has it now. I am going to get something perfect and beautiful. And soon I will have a new lump of coal. I know that. I'm not stupid enough to think that I will only get one every so often. 

But, this time I know what to do with it. 

Katydid out. 

Beautiful Lumps of Coal 1

"we're all dealt our Lumps of Coal, What you do with it can turn beautiful." 

That above statement is from the song Nice Naïve and Beautiful. The Artist is Plumb, the entire album is good, I also recommend Candycoatedwaterdrops. 

Enough with the sales pitch. I really really love this song, and I will post the entire thing at the end. I really have been thinking a lot since my last posts. 

So anyway, I just got back from the student retreat. I was not expecting what happened. We were completely challenged in our faith. I was in tears usually by the end of every session. 

ONe of the things was dealing with Hurt, and this song popped into my head. it's late here so I don't really have much to say, but I think this is pretty thought provoking. 

She's only known heartache and pain

But she's never known pain like this

She stands alone defending her name

When all that she's done is be who she is

Well is it so wrong to be who we are

When all she's done is fail

Cause she's so nice, naïve and beautiful

Why does she get taken advantage

Why does she live in a world so cold

She takes advantage of the nice, naïve and the beautiful

Cold is the throne of her hardened heart

No one has seen the softest part

Day after night she holds an ache

And won't budge to show this secret place

Well is it so wrong to hang on to hurt

Maybe she could set it free

Cause she's so nice, naïve and beautiful

Why did she get taken for granted

Why did she live in a world so cold

He took advantage of the nice, naïve and the beautiful

If you've been there you know

If you're still there hang on

We're all dealt our lumps of coal

What you do with it can turn beautiful

Well there's a life outside of this madness

And there's a face behind every scar

But there's a love overflowing with gladness

Get out of that place that's restraining your love

I said get out of that place

that's restraining your love

The Bridge is the really important part. Just mill over that a bit. I'll post part two Monday

Katydid out

A New List

I'm not going to mince words, or tell you the entire story behind this list. Just read it. This is just somethings I wish I could say, but don't know how too. this is not all one person by the way...

THANK YOU...

A- For everything you've done, the hope the prayers the gifts, the laughter... How I wish you could share this with me. ~For the many private jokes and crazy looks and stupid stuff we will never regret doing. ~For teaching me how to love an "unlovable" ~For always considering me ~For being exactly where God wanted you and telling me what I needed to hear. ~ For caring and being there when I need you.

B- For showing me that every relationship is worth working hard for ~For the promise

C- For laughter, love, stupid midnight chats about dumb stuff that we never truly ever remember in the morning. ~for showing me what it is to work hard, and want something ~for giving me a chance to be in your life ~For letting me spout "Christianese"at you.  ~for just being you ~ For your smile

D- For teaching me about true friendship, and how it's a two way street, about forgiveness, and the healing power it brings. ~for telling me the truth ~for not letting me get away with lying to myself

E- For everything you have forgiven, and for the constant grace you have shown me.

G- for knowing when something was wrong

H- For never believing me when I said I was "Fine" for always listening ~for showing me your mask so I had the courage to take mine off. ~for made-up words

I- for goofy things that only you and I would get, and for being who you are no matter what anyone says. 

J-for teaching me how to live on the edge ~for pressuring me, so that someday I could stand on my own. 

K- For showing me how to love in spite of your own trials. ~for listening ~ For your bright smile and hugs when I needed them ~for being a prayerful, honest, but blunt friend. ~for dealing with my tears. 

L- For your laughter and honesty. ~for your humble gentle spirit ~for apologizing

M- For teaching me how to grow up, and how to chase after what I wanted. ~for showing me how to love unconditionally. ~for showing me the dangers of wanting the wrong thing for my life

N- for the old days. I'll never forget them.

O- For teaching me how to be me. 

P- for being you, and teaching me humbleness, and joy, and odd contests. 

R- For asking.

S- for everything. I can't even go into what you have done for me ~for teaching my that friendship and forgiveness are inseparable. ~for being there when I needed you

T- For teaching me that love is different, and not something to be thrown around, and it truly is a verb ~for getting me out of my comfort zone ~for your little wisdom, and your charming bright smile. ~ For teaching me that I have the best family I could ever ask for, and for telling me more then what I wanted as an answer to my question. ~for the lesson that what God wills is more important then what I want. ~for giving me the chance to prove that doing the right thing pays off, even if it hurts you for a time. 

V- For listening. 

W- For telling me the truth, even when I wouldn't listen. ~ For Showing me that true life isn't worth anything unless you have Christ, and that if you really want to live, and if you really want to make the most out of it, you have to give it all up. 

I guess that is all for me to say...

Katydid out

Serenity, Courage... and Wisdom.

So I will admit to you that I have been major distracted.

I have this feeling that God is showing me more then what I am looking at. I don't really understand. 

Part of me is crying out because of this feeling, I can't shake it, and I don't understand why I even feel this way. And I know my heart is still being refined, but it's not my place to worry about it. I know that. So why doesn't that make me feel better? 

I have this little prayer by my Laptop. It's in a little frame, and it's labeled Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change. COURAGE to change the things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference. 

Right now I will take any of the three. Serenity would be nice though. For those of you [like me] who have no idea what the flip Serenity means it means calm and peaceful (thank God for Webster). Right now I would be grateful for that. 

Courage: I know that I don't have enough and you hear this statement all of the time, but courage doesn't mean that you waltz into war and are unafraid. 

Mark Twain (who is BRILLIANT by the way) explained courage as follows: Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Wisdom: The bible says in Proverbs that wisdom is a jewel, a treasure. Right now I would dearly love to get my hands on some. 

So where does that leave me? As a matter of fact, where does that leave all of us? Based on my experience, I am never going though anything alone. I am not the first to experience this feeling of... doubt, a slight fear... just lack of confidence. It's not even the first time I have ever felt this way...

But it's the first time I have felt God saying to me.  "Hey, this isn't your burden. You gave all that to me a while ago remember?" 

So I repeat my above question; Why don't I feel better? I have NOTHING to fear. God has it all in control... 

So why do I feel like my mask is coming back? 

Hmm. Maybe I'm thinking too hard. 

I'll keep ya'll posted when I figure it out. 

Katydid out. 

The Road Goes Ever On and On....

Hey All! It's been a while...

I have been so blessed since my last blog post. People have been becoming parts of my life that I can't even understand. My best friend and I have now known each other for 18 years and 1 day. :) I love her so much. Someone I met on my missions trip has changed most of my perspective of myself, and my housemates are an awesome blessing in and of themselves. 

However evident God's grace is, I've still been struggling with some things the past few weeks and thought about writing a blog post, but never got around to it. I plan to because once my homework gets in  full swing, I shall not have time to write. Anyway, even with all that is currently going on in my life, I really have been trying to refocus. I don't feel like displaying my entire history all over the internet, so I won't go into details but I really should have been writing more then I have been for my own feelings sake. 

Right now I have to admit (and I thought about it last night for a while, too) but I am trying to find out what God wants for me. Kinda silly I know. I just have been really wondering. I mean here I am 2500 miles away from home, and I am at my first choice of college and so confused.  Before I came out here I had all of these goals, and some of them have been twisted and a couple blew up in my face. This has been happening since the car accident, and I have now decided to coin the phrase as "Delicious Irony" but I am getting rather sick of it. God seems to like scattering my life with it. Oh well, it keeps it interesting. I guess. 

I just reread that and realized that what I really need to do is focus. Not on my stupid goals, or whatever I thought I was going to do here,  I just need to remember that I have a purpose here and that main purpose is to fall more in love with my Father. Not to figure out my whole life. The path I am on currently is the right one, and I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. And for heaven's sake I'm 18 years old! Do I honestly NEED to know EXACTLY where my life is going?????

I didn't think so either.

The verse for Jeremiah 29:11 keeps coming to mind; 

"For I know the Plans I have for you," Says the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

But wait there's more!

~Jeremiah 29:12-13

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."

~Psalms 33:11

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

~Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

And the list goes on, and on and on. So in other words no matter what I plan, it's not my place to worry about. I have to seek God and commit myself to him. If only that was as easy as sitting here saying so. Hmm. 

Well I hope I've given you something to think about as well. 

Katydid out. 

Vacation/Missions Trip/College...o my life...

So I haven't written in...over a week... yeah...

Anyway, I have been packing. Because my July is over on Saturday. Then I have VBS/setup/takedown , then I work for two days (and go to the Eye Doctor *sob+cringe*) then the 23rd which is my last day of official packing, we will be leaving for a family weekend at Messiah College! :) then we get back the 26, and the next morning, I will be at the airport in Newark NJ meeting my team for N. Ireland. I will be back the 10th of August, then my (wonderful) brother and a few good friends are taking me (well, I'm driving, but my brother's paying ((hence the wonderful)) :) ) to Hershey Park, then the 14th is my graduation/welcome-back-from-N.-Ireland-show-me-pictures-now/awk-your-going-to-college-monday-goodbye party. Then I leave the 17th (at 3 in the Morning ((no sleep for me!!!!!)) and will see my college for the first time. :) 

Hopefully I will have my sanity, since I will be a jet lagged mess for that last week. Nut I am so grateful for how blessed I am to be able to go on a vacation, then a missions trip then COLLEGE! Especially since I am going to my first choice; Moody Bible Institute-Spokane. :) I actually didn't think I'd get in at all. 

So, I was reading a verse my leader gave me last year, and I think it's very appropriate for my situation, because last year I didn't see myself where I am right now. 

Habakkuk 1:3 

"Look at the nations and WATCH and be utterly AMAZED-

for I am going to do something in your days, that you would not believe, even if you were told."

Katydid out

All Things Bright and Beautiful, All Creatures Great and Small...

I haven't written in almost a week! O my life!

where have I BEEN?

Anyway, I took my 11 year old sister and 3 year old brother to the zoo yesterday, and I had to laugh.

This was my little brother's first time to the zoo so of course we had to do and see EVERYTHING so we fed the giraffe in the picture (her name is Angel) and walked around for four hours.

They had a grand time.

However, I didn't tell them that when I was their age (oh great, now I sound old) and/or the last time I was there, there was about twice the amount of animals that there are now. Some critters weren't even there anymore, including some of my favorites (tigers).

Though this zoo has been through some...rough times, I realized when I got home that I had a unique experience. But I will explain that in a moment.

So I live out in the country, and at night in the summer there are all sorts of animals that come out, we have Yard Beavers (or ground hogs/woodchuck), coyotes, some kind of fox (I think red), deer (loads and loads of them) rabbits, chipmunks, squirrels, and who knows how many insects, newts, frogs, and other critters that I can't even think of the category they fall into. In other words, I have my own zoo in my backyard.

I went walking at twilight, sat in my secret place, and I just was still. I saw countless lighting bugs, a fox, several chipmunks, a large batch of rabbits (about 9) and a ground hog. And I thought about all of the animals I had seen in the zoo, and I thought of the lyric "all things bright and beautiful, All Creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all."

As I sat there thinking about the animals I had seen at the zoo, and in my yard, I pondered the fact that each of these animals was also knit together with fascination ;) . And I realized how blessed we are that we have God that lovingly shaped all of these amazing animals then each of us.

So I have nothing else to currently say on the subject, so I will be back soon with another post.

Katydid out

Poparazzi

Yes, I know that is not how you spell it. Anyway, Michael Jackson died today, and I was listening to the Switchfoot Cd Learning to Breathe (get it and listen if you do not have it). And this song got me thinking. So as a quickie, here just an interesting little ditty.

Poparazzi

This is a tune for the poparazzi

The who's who and the so and so's

This is a tune for the graven images

Of Marilyn Monroe

We saw your face on the magazine

We heard your song on the MP3

You're stuck in my head

Stuck in my head

Stuck in my head

You can close your ears and your eyes but

Pop will never leave you alone

Leave me alone with all your social mingle

You try so hard to stay on top

Leave me alone with your little jingle

With your picture perfect pop

We read the article in Seventeen

We saw the video on MTV

You're stuck in my head

Stuck in my head

Stuck in my head

You can close your ears and your eyes but

Pop will never leave you alone

This is a tune for the late Nirvana

The teen spirit of rock-and-roll

This is a tune for the velvet Elvis'

On the 90210

I thought my eyes were gonna get off clean

Til I read your lips on the TV screen

You were busy saying things you didn't mean

Now everyone's singing along

With your ridiculous song

You got it stuck

You got it stuck in my head...

Stuck in my head

Stuck in my head

You can close your ears and your eyes but

Pop will never leave you alone

Katydid out.

Milestones, and odd stones.

Yesterday was my 18th Birthday. So I have been thinking a lot about the past. So since it is my fourth year, I thought I'd talk about the rings.



On my fourteenth Birthday, I took a vow of purity, and I took it a slight step farther. I said that the only way I would date a guy was if he filled the list I have, and I was not going to kiss any guy until my wedding day. I always take great pleasure in explaining to guys that I am not going to let myself get "snagged" by any one who walks by. Another thing is, by some blessing from God, I have turned off the switch in my head that makes me like guys only for their looks (it can be done, praise the Lord!). Most of my friends find this slightly abnormal (I think they are just jealous). ;)

I started wearing a ring on my right ring finger. I have currently used 6 rings. #1 which is the top right, turned my finger green about 2 months after I got it. it pretty much looked like I had mold growing on my hand. #2 is the [fake] gold band, was used until my next birthday when my mother gave me #3 as a gift. I wore #3 (the one with the pearls) till I started gaining weight (oops) that was about 1 1/2 years. So for Christmas, I bought myself a new ring, and it lasted until I lost it a week before my 17th birthday last year (6 months). So here I was on my 5th ring, and I decided not to wear one for a while.

My Missions trip to N. Ireland a month later changed that. I had been giving 20 dollars from a family at my church, (about 10 pounds) and I walked into this little shop that was family owned and made cheap (but very well crafted) sterling silver rings. As a rule, I usually buy myself something whenever I go out of my general area of commerce. Ring #5 just caught my eye. It was Celtic knot, a simple but lovely pattern, and the last one my size. it has been on my hand until now. 

I talked to my mom a little while ago, and she suggested that I put all of my rings in my memory box (which has stories of it's own I will be telling soon). 

Well, my family is gathering together to play a game, so I will leave you for now.

Katydid over and out.

Story Time!

Okay, so I have been packing for college the past few uh, weeks, and I have this box of things from My missions trip to Northern Ireland last Summer. I will be returning to N. Ireland this summer. So, I decided to take a walk down memory lane and let you in on my roots.

I miss it so much. *Sigh* I left part of my heart there.

For quick explanation, I Look VERY Irish, (except my eyes). So the first thing that came to my mind was an Irish friend of mine coming up to me and asking me where I was from...and his jaw dropping when he heard my Northern Maryland Accent, instead of the Northern Irish one he was expecting. His exact words were "WOAH, we could fool EVERYBODY!"

So he spent the next 3 hours teaching me how to speak in a northern Irish Accent. (we were actually watching a movie which was what took so long).

So where to go from there? hmmm, Oh I know, our first day. So I am meeting my team in the airport right? and I am talking to friend on my team, and she says something about how if anything unfortunate happens on this trip it will happen to her. I laughed. I attract bizarre accidents like honey to a fly. Ten minutes later I am in the line for my ticket, and...the people say I don't have a ticket.

I honestly felt like crying. Turns out someone who had my same last name had backed out of the trip and instead of deleting her ticket, the airport company deleted mine.

Long story short, I got there, after my poor trip leader forked over $1100 for a new one. (I recently got an e-mail from him about hoping my ticket wasn't deleted again) He did get the money back by the way. Happy Ending.

What we did, we did a form of vacation Bible School in the morning, had the afternoon off and worked with teens in the evening. Very exhausting.

There were 6 teams. Mine was unarguably the craziest. We had some crazy moments, our average bedtime between the ten us was ~1 (it would have been 3 but our leader went to bed at 10 every night) and we woke each other up with coffee pots. We were the only team with a Canadian Leader, but our assistant leader was N. Irish, we had some crazy fighting, Father Abraham, mafia games, and several movies. But I loved our worship times.

About half of our team played something or could sing. So we would have these random "jam sessions" and we'd sing with the kids, and my heart would soar as the younger ones sang with their little voices.

One of the Things that effected me the most was our last worship time. It was after our final night working with the teens. We all went home and we had 3 other guys (including the one mentioned in the 3rd paragraph) do a worship session with us.

Within about 10 minutes one of the other 2 guys asked if he could take my assistant leaders guitar, and he began playing. Words cannot describe the next hour in a half. Even as I type this I am struggling for the words to even tell you how unbelievable it was. I remember that all of our team had broke down crying within 15 minutes. We prayed for each other, some of us sobbing more then others (not me*shock*), I have never felt God presence more then in that room that night. Surrounded by people I had not even know existed a mere month before. I miss and love them, it's been almost a year and I still think of them often.

Ooh, I feel like I haven't even told you anything. but I think I will start missing them more, so I will stop here. More stories to come.

Katydid out.

Fascination.

I have found the most amusing word in the English dictionary. Now I have to figure out how to write this blog with minimal puns (Me+puns = :( )

For those of you that know me, you know I love to talk. It takes a lot for me to shut up. I just love words. My favorites are intense and epic. I was thinking of adding fascination to the list, but, well, you'll see why a little down the page. :)

So how did I get this rather random word? I was fooling around on the piano almost a week ago and there is this floozy piece from one of my old piano books called Fascination. It's rather...uh... the best word is whimsical. So in other words, it goes up and down a scale and ends up going in a small circle and there is almost no point to playing the song.

Anyway, I looked up the meaning of fascinate, since fascination just says see fascinate (Don't you just LOVE dictionaries???!) This particular definition is from Dictionary.com:

1. to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, unusual nature, or some other special quality; enthrall: a vivacity that fascinated the audience.
2. to arouse the interest or curiosity of; allure.
3. to transfix or deprive of the power of resistance, as through terror: The sight of the snake fascinated the rabbit.
4. Obsolete. to bewitch.
5. Obsolete. to cast under a spell by a look.

So really, I found that it connects to my weird attraction to things. Like books and music to name a few. Oh and good Villains. (another to be continued subject).

Anyways as I looked into this word more, I found to have some good ways to interpret it and some not-so-nice ways. For example. God is fascinating. Or He should be. I mean, think about it, if you're like me, (and most of you are) when you try to figure out how God works, it just makes your head hurt. (for those of you that don't believe, try to count to billion, then do that a million times. It makes your head spin.) Sometimes when you look back you can see how He's worked in you life and sometimes you have no idea why He did -insert situation here-. There are other ways, but I'll let you all discover for yourselves.

Now the not-so-nice. Sin. How many of you are fascinated by something because it looks fun. I looked at the definition of fascinate and my heart sank, because all I could see were some of my own temptations. How many times have we done something we know is wrong because it spikes our curiosity, or because it attracts us. I could have written the whole blog just on that. O my life! It's not very encouraging!

So here is the very good news in all of this mess: Psalms 139: 13-16 (NIV)

"For you created me in my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother womb. I praise you , for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, you works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Translated: God is fascinated with us. (Another Mind-blowing subject!) He knit us together piece by piece, carefully and with love and patience, knowing full well that we would betray him, and disown him, and make mistakes. So what did he do? He gave us a hope and a future. (which is part of Jeremiah 29:11, by the way).

Just some things to think about.

Katydid out.