I've come to realize that everyone has a weak spot. In the past few months I've found that nothing I know is sure. Nothing on this planet will ever go the way I assume. The only thing that remains in the end is God. I've discovered that the truth behind love, and forgiveness is not as big of a gap as I originally thought. And finally, I've learned that life goes on. The past is still there. But the most important things in life come when you live in the moment and keep moving forward.
Over a year ago, I was in N. Ireland. For what I'm pretty sure will be the last time. A little less then a year ago I stepped off a plane to the place I was determined not to fall in love with. This past fall I have undergone healing I never thought possible, and I have found the best friend I could ever ask for (and I have found that I don't deserve her, and she most certainly doesn't deserve me with all of my crap.), I've found that I can be passionate, there is more to life then just trying to survive day by day...
This year (2010) has brought me more challenges then I could have ever imagined. For the first time in my life, I began realizing the fact is, those people I saw as "Super Christians", people I had grown up, people I expected to change the world... began to fall apart. I began realizing that I wasn't the only one who had lived the "silver mask life" that I had. And they didn't want to escape. I began crying out to God daily, and wondering why we all do this to ourselves. Then I began to watch.
Over my 7 months of watching I found my answer.
Because our main weakness is something so close to our heart and it's something that we have to peel ourselves away. We convince ourselves that we can't let go, or that we aren't doing it and become blind to our own new "God". It can be something simple or something complex, it can be big or small... but if it takes the place of God for a moment longer then it should. we can falter. I won't list examples, because your own possibility is probably what rose to your mind and you dismissed as nothing.
I found that overall, life is a battle for survival. But not to survive the way I was trying to survive. Not the way the world tells you to fight, not with fists and guns and bombs and whatever weapons we have nowadays.
If you are ever told that following God is easy, hit the person in the face with a frying pan, then brain them until they have some sense.
Seriously though, DO NOT BELIEVE IT.
Following God is HARD. <-- read it (repeat until you understand? Still don't???)
Mark 13:12-14
12And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. 13And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
John 15:18
"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.
Romans 7:15
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
1 John 3:13
Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.
So in other words what we have to look forward too, is the world hates our guts if we actually follow God with everything we got, and even amazing Christians like Paul didn't do it all the time...
So we all are aware of the second point... now the 1st point? How many of us want to be hated by the world??????
If you are saying me... congratulations, you have a rough life ahead of you, enjoy every second of it, because God is going to bless it at times and seem to be far away at others.
Please excuse my sarcasm, I've been really snippy for the past few weeks and I have not been writing, which is always a dangerous combination.
The problem is, most people don't want the world to hate them. They allow themselves to get sucked in, and if they don't want the world the hate them, they usually have some other distraction in the way.
I've found that our problem is we allow ourselves so many distractions, so many excuses... so many issues... and then we have the audacity to ask God "WHY????" Then we have the arrogance to actually think that we are the only ones to ask that question!!!!
I am completely disgusted with the human race right now, please exuse my rantings, I just decided my whole next paragraph probably wasn't the best idea...
So that was the answer to my question...
As always, when I ask God a question I'm left with a whole bunch of new questions.
I don't know how He knows everything, His answers make my head hurt...
However, the real question is, what are we left with? if half of the world thinks they are following God and they aren't how can you ever be sure? if you can actually find someone that truly follows God with everything they can, they aren't consumed by their past, their obsession with growth, the hurt surrounding them and how they can't fix it, their independence, their job, their lives, their need to feel like they must be Spiritual all the time and don't take the time to truly learn..
How many are left? How many stand? How many are going to stand in front of God and hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."?
My guess is and I hate this answer, is that it's smaller then we think.
Do you realize what an Honor that is? Let me make you realize this IT'S A COMPLIMENT FROM GOD!!! HELLO?! THERE IS NOT A HUMAN ON THIS PLANET THAT EVEN DESERVES HEAVEN LET ALONE A COMPLEMENT WHERE HE CALLS US HIS SERVANTS. (read again now repeat until this actually sinks into your tiny human brain) (again I apologize for my temper).
I don't think everyone who enters Heaven gets this answer. I imagine my first moment with God will be me falling flat on my face and knowing that no matter what I did there is no way I could ever deserve that one moment where I first lay eyes on my glorious Master.
I have realized how significant that moment is. That moment will make all of this crap that goes on here in this world worth it. Just laying eyes on His glorious face for a moment... it's worth our entire lives...
Why in the world do we crave compliments we don't deserve... when in all reality that very first moment is all we need?
Katydid out.
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